Part 2 - Your ceremony, your way | Scripting your ceremony
So you've decided on your celebrant and asked all those important preliminary questions - the next stage is the scripting of your ceremony. Your ceremony should be unique to you and you will have spoken to your celebrant, maybe completed a questionnaire so that they know more about you and the sort of ceremony you are imagining, and have begun to think about it more. You and your celebrant design the ceremony together - it's a partnership.
Your celebrant will tell as much, or as little, of your personal story, as you feel comfortable with: with some couples I have shared first meetings, the proposal (...sometimes when it has gone slightly awry...) what it is they like and love about each other, (...and sometimes the things they don't...!) with their guests - one couple had their guests in fits of giggles when we shared the groom's habit of hiding from the bride and then jumping out to frighten her - once dressed as a cockroach!!
Others have asked for the ceremony to be less personal or private - again, it is your choice.
Your celebrant should be able to suggest appropriate readings, poems, extracts from novels that you might want them or some of your guests to share ...they will have a wide-ranging selection, or will be able to find some - or, if their choice is not yours, it may trigger a memory of something you can use instead - but use your celebrant as a resource!
Equally, unless you know what promises you want to make to each other, ask your celebrant to suggest some - if you want to write your own nothing is as scary as a blank piece of paper! If you have some ideas in front of you, it's easy to change, rearrange and replace until you feel they are perfect for you. If you are writing your own, think of them more as promises you are making - vows sound a bit impersonal...but you are promising to bring certain things to your marriage...you choose what they are.
Make it yours...
Your celebrant should let you see the first draft of the ceremony - this is your chance to change anything, replace or add anything, or simply to say, 'Yes that's perfect!' - your input is vital so that you feel that this is truly your ceremony.
Part 3 to follow...